Life Changes and so does Diabetes

I almost forgot that this is a blog about diabetes and the games we play in our mind to manage it.

Well, if you`ve read my last post my life has changed, and for a while so did my ability or motivation to manage my diabetes. Put simply I just didn`t care. Still don`t some days.

I go to my doctor and they always comment on my A1C, oh, it has climbed, and I usually reply that the reason is my mood has declined, sort of an inverse relationship I guess.

I always tell folks with diabetes, that if the stress part of your life isn`t well managed then your diabetes will never be adequately controlled. Who am I to preach. I know.

When my depression gets a grip, you know, barely brush my teeth, dragging my self to work, those joyless, overwhelming sad feelings, my diabetes is the last thing on my to do list. In actual fact it likely compounds my mood as I make poorer food choices cause I just don`t care.

When you feel worthless, and ineffective in your daily life, one way to abuse yourself is through not taking care of yourself. People use alcohol and drugs, I have used diabetes, knowing full well that eating 3 bowels of sugary cereal is not exactly in a good diet plan.

Point is I need to focus on the mood first, sooth the soul, talk , write, exercise, try to find joy and purpose, which I find in my kids and work.

Well, that's all I can think of for now.

Trev

A Selfless Perspective to Happiness

So for those who read my previous post know I had an Apointment my my Family Doctor yesterday.

I was eager to see him as I have been experiencing a very low energy level and mood for quite some time now.

My Doctor is a great councellor. Not all Doctors have the ability to listen actively, and help you work through your issues. He spends more then the alotted apointment time to hear me out, and provided his help.

So I start off telling him about my energy level saying "I use every ounce of will power to drag my butt out of bed in the morning" and I add, "I have no desire to do anything, even stuff I used to enjoy like Thai Box"  and finally, "I just want to feel excited, energized about life again"

Of course he nods, and says "What do you feel the issues are in your life?" 

I reply, "Money, or lack there of, Diabetes in all aspects, but I exercise, get sunlight, sleep 8 hours, usually, reflect, discuss, write and still no mood improvement" "I Just feel Flat"

We talk about the specific stressors in my life mentioned above. Then he says this to me. "Trev, you are experiencing the busiest time in most peoples life right now, and you also have diabetes to deal with, but you have to remember, right now your job is to be there for your children"

It was like a father giving his son advice not a physician talking to a patient. That statement "Be there for your childen" resonated with me for hours later.  It really put my life into perspective. It's not about me, its about them.  I know this truth, but needed to hear it from a repected friend.

To conclude he said "We still need to do something about your mood" and I am trialing a Med called Wellbutrin. I guess it works synergistically with Celexa.

At this point I am willing to try anything.

But I think I need to be there selflessly for my family.

Trev

Self Experiment - Does Diet Effect Your Mood?



"Me Fired Up!"

 Good Day All! Boy do I have something I want to share!!!  I have not been this fired up in a long time. No I am not manic. This is some really revolutionary stuff. I didn't invent but check it out!!!

Not sure if I mentioned this,  but my last A1C was 8.4 % which, in my opinion for myself, pretty much sucks!!!

So I took a hard look at my current diabetes regime and self management.  By hard I mean honest, like; can I do more, am I measuring, trending, tracking, counting, am I consistent. To answer myself; as to whether I've been a well behaved PWD. I'd have to say, NO. I haven't been consistent in doing any of the above.

The result,  a shitty A1C.  Time to do something radical. Time to make a plan, and stick with it. Time to smarten up, and as you all know, I have 90 days.  At which time I will repeat my A1C and have a check-up with my physician.

Over the past four days, I know, not long, but I have to share this, I have been doing the following:

-Off my Pump, back on the Multiple Daily Doses.

-Re-Read Dr Bernstein's Diabetes Solution , for the second time in 4 months(This time I took notes)

-I have been eating the following portions daily:
Breakfast:  6 grams Carb and 3 oz Protein(Measured using a scale)
Lunch: 12 grams Carb and 4 oz Protein(Pre-made the evening before)
Dinner: 12 grams Carb and 6 oz Protein

-I have been taking the following insulin:
AM: Levemir 15 Units (split into 3 separate injections as per Dr B's Suggestion)
AM: Apidra 5.5 Units
Lunch: 4.5 Units
Dinner: 6 Units
Bedtime: Levemir 5 Units

Broken Down:

Correction Factor = 1 Unit will drop my BG by 2 mmol
1 gram of Carb increases my BG by approximately .3 mmol
1 unit of insulin for 1.5 oz of protein
1 unit of insulin for 6 grams of Carb
2 units to cover the Dawn Phenomenon (2 hrs after waking)

-I write everything down
-I tested every 2-3 hours for the first 3 days
-I discovered Sugar Stats a website that allows you to log your numbers, graph them, and so much more. Get this! If I am out, away from my computer I email my blood glucose reading using my phone to the site and review the numbers later. It really is awesome!(No I am not an affiliate, so I don't get anything if you visit the site)

Okay, so what?! 

I am going to tell you, the first day sucked!  I felt low(hypoglycemic) because I wasn't used to having sugars in the normal range. I felt hungry, I had a massive headache. Day two, still feeling headachy, but slightly better. Day three, better. 

Today, I feel fantastic!!!  I have no headache. I have no post meal spikes, my range yesterday and today has been close to that of a non-diabetic.  I never in my 28 years of being a Type 1 have seen numbers, I mean stable, steady. 

My mood and my mind is clearer then I ever thought possible. I am not exaggerating. I post my numbers publicly on Sugar Stats if you want to check them.  It's really encouraging to eat a meal or take a shot and knowing exactly what the outcome will be.  I admit I was really hesitant to take 1 unit for 1.5 oz of protein. But seriouly, it's totally possible!

The only downfall is it is a rigid regime,  but I feel great and that is motivation. I don't feel edgy, like I am on an emotional roller coaster that I would get with spikes and drops in my blood sugar.

Stable numbers (Stable Carb and Protein + Stable Insulin = Stable mood ) 

That is my conclusion thus far.  I know it is only day four but I am onto something life changing. I just feel it!

Trev